Comms
ALALA. This is a five-step concept, not 2, 3 or 4 steps
Ask
Listen to their answer
Ask about their response (hold back from telling)
Listen to their answer
Ask about their response (hold back from telling)
This will very much assist in your hearing what they are saying because you have demonstrated respect (important to everyone, especially Americans). This will translate into Trust
No fault, no blame!
The question (not statement) to the other party is “who is responsible for this function” or “what are the responsibility steps”, then don’t jump into conversation and hold back from telling – use ALALA
Avoid criticism and engage in feedback (that’s harder on the problem, softer on the person), which avoids defensive behaviour.
No right or wrong, just “ what works and what doesn’t work as well) Use ALALA to engage and hold back from telling!
When ALALA ing, the other person gets to hear themselves and is bathed in respect and not fighting to justify, give excuses or justify – defensive behaviours that close the mind.
ALALA (A – the asking bit) requires questions. This is where the asking skills come in.
Closed-ended questions
Open-ended questions
Assumptive questions
Alternative questions
Here you are guiding your interlocutor, not really telling.
What when where why how help this process.
Get these skills working, you will establish stronger connections, learn more, establish better shared ground rules, have less guarded conversations be way more productive.
You know you know this stuff, but sometimes it’s just useful to put it together 😀
Beware of the rhetorical question because it can look like the questioner is looking for you to ‘tell’? Avoid telling by using ALALA – this will keep you ‘softly in control’ are you move forward in joint understanding.
Listen to yourself, you could fall into the trap of responding (telling) when asked a question – ping pong – use ALALA to maintain control and get a better look at the other’s question by helping them (through ALALA) reframe their question. You WILL be amazed at how often the question changes, implications, the point of view the perspective!
Communications and THINKING A couple of my favourite sayings are from ‘The Best Marigold Hotel’, “Just because I’m looking at you when you talk, don’t think I’m listening – or even interested.” This is why ALALA is so important – people drift off, and if we are not careful, we keep talking and they have stopped listening! Another is “Everything will be alright in the end so, if it is not alright, it is not the end”. That’s a big help when negotiating – don’t see the end too easily”, if we do not see the no thanks as a final comment, asking one more question will increase sales exponentially.
If you want to comment, please do not do that through the web – instead, email directly to me, I guarantee I will respond – Rex@LeadershipThinking.Academy. (there is no .com or.com.au)