Learning how to be a Leader
Almost all of our growing up, we have been subject to ‘command and control’ thinking and behaviour, first from parents/grandparents/carers/teachers/siblings older and younger, employers etc
People who see their job as caring for us, and sharing their wisdom so often given more as directives than conversation starters.
We start to see ourselves through their eyes, associated with the degree of acceptance they give us for following their advice. If we are good and obedient then we get smiles, treats and acceptance. If we are not so good then we get the measure of that degree. We build our self-concept, we learn to respond according to what they expect – we start to expect what they expect – we live down to their expectation or up to and that becomes self-fulfilling!
Another way to say that is – “I am, my staff/children are as good as I let them be or as bad as I expect them to be”.
Leadership is about not being the solution but the facilitator of people. A major part of that is becoming a good question giver and listener – ask, listen, ask, listen and ask – helping the interlocutor to think through their interchange seeing your positive expectation – and giving them a chance to hear what they can think.
This is the first step in leadership; this is not a common commodity – more often the manager tells, over talks, owns the problem and the solution and sees others as people who attempt to do as they are told – too often failing and hence the need to micro-manage – a serious form of bullying.
Want to talk about the process of making the change – in the first place even getting a firm self-concept of where you are in this conundrum! Rex 0407827173 – just a chat might be a starter, there is no obligation, and tons to gain.