Be on the alert to those around you, hear what they are saying and don’t be caught just giving sympathy. It is too easy to commiserate and then move on with a different conversation, or to give some advice and think it is over.
The person has to find a way to face the next day and commiserations and sympathy just don’t do that in fact, regardless of your intent, they dis-empower.
It is hard for everyone, you as a friend / family, no-one actually knowing what to do – well we do. No obligation and if it is about a person, then it is free – nothing lost in at least making contact.
If you are the manager and you employee has bullying or in fact any problems outside of work it is not your job to counsel them or make allowances for any work impacts. If someone’s life is in turmoil outside of work they absolutely need to feel secure inside work. If you allow, if you reassign work, understand that whilst people are happy to help at first, it very soon becomes resentment – then there is a problem inside and outside of work and it will be YOU who made that happen. That might be an unintended consequence BUT it will still be a consequence.
This is a time for you to reassess their performance, a gap analysis can help, a skills matrix also to make sure that the person has the right skills to undertake their work. It could have been a miss match here that put pressure on their home relationship.
Very often it takes an external intervention to analyse and develop a plan.
Rex 0407827173 – absolutely confidential.