Born innocent – probably not but just say if, not for long!
So much is innate, from parents and their parents etc
And then, there is the environment; starting in the womb, learning that regardless of how tired ‘mum’ is, it’s ok to stretch and kick and generally make yourself, comfortable, regardless. Then the newborn is taught “cry and I’ll feed you” and the lesson is further learnt – self-centredness. And that with the co-developing of growing with whatever substances Mum has been consuming, pulsing through the new ‘innocent’ body – now already, not so innocent!
So once born, some habits are already perfected, and we move on through various stages of life into adulthood. We have maybe found a ‘mate’, we may have mated and had our own little person. We are now responsible for this new person, how we encourage and appreciate our mate and how we as a person, encourage and appreciate ourselves. Some of the habits learnt, in the beginning, are still with us, the negative ones more easily maintained than the positive ones.
Each day we rise into the day and fairly much repeat most of what we do and think, all over again, day after day!
We get annoyed by the same things, we lose patience with the same person, and we get ‘blindsided’ by the same situations! It is as if it is inevitable BUT it isn’t, doesn’t have to be.
We live up to or down to our own expectations; people around us likewise – it is all self-fulfilling and dangerous for positive personal / relationship development.
2023 is here. Maybe this is a good time to attempt to audit our automatic habits and break away from repetitive behaviours and thinking and dare to identify some new ways; draw new conclusions, and invent some fresh concepts and perspectives. This is not necessarily an easy task; it can help to ask others to contribute. You could think about Edward Debono’s 6 hats and do a self-audit across those? I have a template; send me an email and I will get it to you. Rex@Leadershipthinking.Academy.
If you own a business, are an employer of any type, then you will be underutilising your people, you will be holding them back from their own fulfilment and they/you will have more capacity than you think. You will probably disagree with that BUT, I know it to be true and if you did disagree or, do not easily agree, then that proves it. As an employer or in fact, as a person who has responsibility for others, that may be a mate, a family or employees, your duty is to encourage and have available, ways to enable personal growth.
To achieve any of this, effective interactions will be needed. Trust given, respect shown, and eager listening is undertaken. Regardless of how perfect your life is right now, value can be added through daring to pull back on the habitual and embrace the potential of broadening expectations through identifying ‘po’ – The term po was created by Edward de Bono as part of a lateral thinking technique to suggest forward movement, that is, making a statement and seeing where it leads to. It is an extraction from words such as hypothesis, suppose, possible and poetry, all of which indicate forward movement and contain the syllable “po.” Po can be taken to refer to any of the following: provoking operation, provocative operation, or provocation operation. Also, in Maori, the word “po” refers to the original chaotic state of formlessness, from which evolution occurred. Edward de Bono argues that this context as well applies to the term
Making a statement and seeing where it leads to without interference of habit expectations and conversation – ie that wouldn’t work …. tried it before and ….. not how it’s done …. Etc
Is 2023 a time to engage back into your potential and create, adjust, and discard some old habits and conclusions? Life can be whatever you want it to be but first, you must engage, smile, search and identify, little steps perhaps BUT away from the non-thinking, automatic established patterns. (Smiling opens the mind and makes it receptive).