Case Studies

A quick and easy lesson

A client of mine was frustrated by the lack of real initiative shown by his senior staff and the absence of useful feedback from ‘the floor’ – plenty of complaints but little or no constructive input.

1. Senior management lived they were responsible for ‘solutions’
2. Supervisors, leading hands were responsible for initiating senior management decisions
3. Works were responsible for following instructions

This is not an uncommon situation even though, most companies would deny it -“oh no, we consult and value employees’ input”. Do we include, do we work with the ideas, do we include the employee in the discussion – probably not because after all, we are the management.

CASE STUDY

Private company

Manufacture and sell through agents to end users.

Turn over four to eight million dollars PA depending on season

Personnel – 55 – CEO, CFO, Manufacturing Manager, Production Manager, Sales Manager.

CEO and CFO make most decisions

Costs up, Missing delivery deadlines, inventory out of control, staff turnover high, losing clients, cash flow disjointed and insufficient.

First impressions – people blaming each other and the market, the economy, govenrment.

No real identification of what was working and what wasn’t.

No feeling of empowerment – actually, a feeling of disempowerment brought about by the blaming mechanism.

Our action

Interview all staff – everyone – starting with those on the ‘floor’, and support people.
This wasn’t received well by the CEO (owner) of the CFO – the other managers had long lost their sense of self-worth or respect – long serving – looking to either their long service leave or retirement.

Outcome – ‘no one ever asks us or listens to us – we know their policies are not working, we could see what was happening and we know what to do. Management is running around like their heads are cut off – blaming everyone and everything and not open to new input.

Listening to this and with our own experience AND the approval from the owner/CEO (who was facing calls on the loans and potential disaster) we introduced

1. The concept of Intelligent Disobedience
2. The inclusion of all managers and supervisory staff in ALL meetings – weekly for the first 2 months – sensitive information tabled
3. Strict adherence to the Intelligent Disobedience – a bit like the old brainstorming (no bad ideas, let people talk, don’t interrupt, value and extend thoughts)
4. Minutes taken, actions identified and implemented by ‘the floor staff with managers’.
5. Managers spending time on the floor undertaking those ‘menial tasks’ – getting their hands dirty, and understanding their business.

OUTCOME –

Floor people talking to customers floor people

Suppliers and customers talking to each other

Sales talking to production

Skills matrix developed for all staff alongside career planning

Clear objectives across various areas of the business developed right through the the floor

OUTCOME –

Excess stock found homes with current clients and the reason new clients came on board

Contracts with suppliers initiated and forward planning put into place (and some excess stock taken back)

The layout of the manufacturing floor adjusted for maximum efficiency (something this new Vietnamese employee had been talking about for 9 months) resulting ion 30% more productivity

Sale of excess property leading to full repayment of bank loan – something initiated by the young, 6-month employed female, first job receptionist.(Apparently, she was getting suppliers asking for payment and she was complaining to her dad who commented, “they seem to have spare land they don’t use, why don’t they sell and gain some cashflow).

This was something the sales manager had suggested several times and even went as far as getting some indicative pricing – but not listened to.

OUTCOME – the business is in a much more sound position, the people of the business are enthused, clients are being excited, the production manager was changed to be sales manager and the sales manager took on production – wrong people in wrong jobs.

These outcomes were always available if management got out of its way and effectively interacted with ALL of its people. Intelligent disobedience helps managers be leaders, functionaries be leaders, customers be leaders, and suppliers be leaders when a business is confident enough to be truthful, upfront and open.

Succession.

The need to look ahead and define a structure to replace current leadership is imperative.

This applies as much in the home as in business. If the business is a family business, then even more so. Very often ‘leadership’ just comes about through circumstance or last-minute plans, if they can be called that – emergency measures to fill a gap. A gap that may make it impossible for the new incumbent to be successful.

In both case studies, it was imperative to develop trust among everyone and to balance input and get past previous assumptions. To record it all and then seek feedback on that – did we capture the situation or does there need to be some adjustments? Then we could start.

Case study 1 – A farmer had three children, 2 boys and a girl. One of the boys looked a natural BUT didn’t want to stay on the farm. A quite brilliant girl who had never been included in farm talk, never consulted, just a passenger., a little resentful and hence hadn’t pushed her case. And a boy who loved the farm but had been treated in much the same way. Dad and favoured son and dad who had convinced himself that ‘his boy’ would come around. This was causing a ruction between that son and his dad – that son being scared it would all be dropped in his lap, extended overdraft, and all.

The property was potentially worth millions of dollars in a good year with weather forecasts good BUT, after a few years of draught, nothing but a liability, not able to cover outstanding loans let alone a lifestyle. Dad handled the finances as they were senior thinking and no one else had any real idea except of the situation when the final payment notices started to roll – but it had all worked out in the end, previously.

The GAP – making oneself believe it would all work out and favoured son would come around, which he probably would have on dad’s death but trying to exit before then was no option, favoured son would probably have backed away – leaving mum and 2^ndson holding the cake and mourning at the same time. Favoured son potentially trapped; daughter unfulfilled.

By introducing an external person, an unconnected person who wasn’t constricted by family knowledge or relationship, one who could ask the tricky questions, respectfully call the bluff on defensive behaviour, one that was open to actually listen and hear, put emotion and perceived conclusions aside, everything fell pretty well in place.

The situation – Dad was 65, fit and had no health problems. Mum was 63 and although more often excluded in farm conversations, she actually knew almost as much as her husband – she could listen even if not consulted. But she did lack the confidence to readily jump into the role of manager of their affairs but would probably been stoic about it and probably successful – she did behave in a consultative way. With the situation as is, holidays were not an option, and any passing sickness of dad was a major problem.

Favoured son – had successfully completed a master’s degree in agriculture – under Dad’s pressure. Also, a degree in international law and economics – his true passion.

Other son had completed various advanced diploma courses covering agronomy animal science, soil science and agriculture. His true passion. Additionally, a Certificate Four in basic accounting, project management and marketing.

Daughter – a Doctorate in farm management and master’s in accounting. She loved the farm and was very keen to be part of it. She would happily put aside her corporate job and return to the farm – something the dad never actually heard or could contemplate.
She would be happy in fact excited to work with second son and could see how the favoured son could also be involved. As a three they were close but somewhat disconnected through Dad’s preconceived solution.

Mother – before being pretty much required to retire on getting married had run a successful small business which she had taken over from her parents; had worked in most of her childhood and understood well. The business thrived; she had good common sense and energy.

Challenge – Everyone except ‘dad’ was on the same page and Dad was somewhat intransigent. The way forward to progress the matter was to find a way to get Dad to listen and in fact, manoeuvre him to a position where he would be open to discussion.

This started with

Getting him to recognise the need to develop a plan that could be implemented way before it was necessary – to identify reasons to do that. Then,

1. Identifying both hard and soft skills required to run the farm
2. developing a list of necessary prequalifications (dad had no formal education past ‘intermediate’ (year 10) except for numerous information sessions put on by farm suppliers – usually trying to convince to but their products. This was academic and experience.
3. having his wife and children contribute to this matrix as to their level of experience and then him putting in his score
4. identifying gaps
5. hearing what each person wanted to achieve in their next five years – their passion.

The end result of this became self-evident and was surprisingly simple – sure a few roadblocks but by having and emotionally disconnected facilitator proactive in bringing people together and problem-solving, not losing sight of the objective – successful succession where the right people were in the right spot for the farm and for themselves AND strategies were identified and implemented to bring up experience and qualifications to suit the various roles.

And dad needed to adopt his style and act/ually hand over various predetermined tasks and allow others to ‘smell success’. These are to be identified and recorded with appropriate actions.

By not seeking the input of friends and relatives, all of whom would have been influenced by dads thinking, by somewhat distancing their own accountants, solicitors and financial advisors, Dad was able to perhaps hear for the first time what his family was saying to see and understand his ’children’s’ capabilities. The time for accountants and financial planners, estate agents etc was to come after the new entity had been defined and all players were active. Armed with the knowledge and comments of the family and the future, these other professionals could now be more adequately briefed.

Through this process, second son was actually heard and something that Dad had been discarding of his recommendations was picked up, further defined by the sister and 1^st son and their farm was almost immediately put in a better financial position.

The agreement was written up in everyday language and after receiving some feedback from the ‘professionals’, much of which only served to complicate the matter, it was witnessed.

Case study 2 – A farmer (woman), 68 years old, in good health and doesn’t really have enough funds/income to make the farm profitable without additional external income. As a family, they were devoted to having a farm-based life. Raised on the family farm which she inherited, with a father who didn’t really set her up to take over (no other children) and a husband who wasn’t from a farming background but who enjoyed it and was committed to trying to make it work.

It is a mixed farm, cropping and sheep. They rely to some degree on contractors. ‘Mum’ isn’t really open to input and continues strategies that didn’t work for her parents,

Spouse (man) is handy and committed but is also a qualified grader driver, with enough work to supplement the farms income and to engage one of his 25-year-old sons and 2 other employees. He is 65 years old and medium health and will need to get his 1^st son up to ‘management thinking level’ fairly quickly to maintain contracts etc.

This son enjoys the work and also the farm work and everyone is working long, hard hours.

Dad isn’t good at open conversations and can be passive-aggressive which hinders open communication. Too much telling and not enough listening or respect.

25-year-old twin son (1) – can see a future in the grading business but is also keen to develop some new ideas for the farm. He needs to convince Mum, who is basically thinking like her parents when they were alive and also having trouble getting the farm to be a financial success. In fact, they left debt. He completed university in agriculture and certificate 111 in maintenance heavy duty and did well – plenty of on-the-job training and this flows through to farm work as well.

Dad isn’t good at open conversations and can be passive-aggressive which hinders open communication. Too much telling and not enough listening or respect.

25-year-old twin son (2) – He works on the farm supporting Mum but has some learning difficulties. He is quite capable at a range of tasks but still needs supervision to complete. He also assists Dad with some peripheral tasks in his operation.

The situation – farm is difficult to sell given the recent impacts of negative weather and consequential income, and some improvements are needed generally to property and equipment. The likelihood of losing the farm and not enough to buy elsewhere but probably sufficient to cash flow life out of the grading business. Potentially currently trading insolvent. Starting to panic and that is hindering open discussion, listening and new actions. Getting fearful input from solicitors and accountant who have both been involved all the time and are only now contributing their negative input.

A cousin of the wife who is currently unemployed, had some light-weight legal issues but is very good at matters concerning farming and would be happy to come and contribute to the effort and thinking of the farm but adults are sceptical about his character. Is a good communicator and in reality the legal issue was more a simple mistake and wrong influence. This added and no-cost addition to the workforce could make a lot of positive difference.

The end result – The cousin was brought in, and he immediately saw how the product that hadn’t been resourced could be accessed and sold. He was able to use his influences (even though he had this legal episode, he had been a great footballer and had some credence in the community) and get some debt readjusted. He recognised a paddock (that was important to the owner) was excess to their needs and the adjacent farmer offered to purchase it and which solved their liquidity and debt situation in one fell swoop. (Having this new voice at the table changed the family dynamics)

It also gave the three men and him a boost to their relationship. Now the question was about succession – did the cousin feature in any planning? Here the accountant and solicitor became a stumbling block that needed to be managed.

The land was sold, the product and terms were negotiated, and a succession plan process commenced. This was devised to be a two-stage plan, one commencing very quickly that was about skills and needs matrix, timeshare responsibilities and suitable KPI’s to underpin future decisions.

Given that KPI’s were met, year one two and three, then the basis of succession was clearly about the part that each of the ‘children-aged’ adults would take as their responsibility, a clear meeting structure was developed, and an external ‘mentor’ was appointed non-executive chair. (not the accountant or the solicitor) each to own a quarter and ‘mum’ holds a quarter that in the event of her death, is shared equally.

Everyone was in agreement even though it meant the cousin benefited equally – they recognised that they were very close to losing everything and that his advice steered them in the right direction. A new accountant and solicitor were engaged, as was a financial planner, so that they could then proceed – every quarter a full meeting was to be held, chaired by Mum, which included the other professionals.

Mum was supportive of this whole process after she was assisted in realising the perilous situation she was in and therefore her family was in, and their inability to date, in finding their own remedies.

The agreement was written up in everyday language and after receiving some feedback from the ‘professionals’, much of which only served to complicate the matter, it was witnessed.

Watch this space

A personal story of bullying through worse judgment /conclusion/group think – action to confirm inability!
* Rex at 5 yrs starts school
* Rex is mainly ‘molly coddled’ for 1st three years -same teacher each year who showed overt interest – nothing dark in this comment just that she overly cared and maybe for her own outcomes, not recognising need to Rex develop as a person
* Rex arrives at junior school, lacking self esteem and self belief and positive expectations
* Staff observe Rex’s poor performance and telegraph that up, year by year and Rex lives down to all their expectations
* Rex leaves school and exceeds his own expectations – not hampered by the ‘ academics judgement ‘down’ of him. Not bad people but absolutely bad outcomes for Rex and anyone else in level four of any year – the story . …..

I wrote to school principles – “I am writing to give you a glimpse at something you no doubt have knowledge of but from my personal experience.”

What am I wanting you to do with my personal experience at a private school, over all my years from start to year10 is recognise that a very deep start to bullying is that from teachers, expecting one to underperform and then that becoming self-fulfilling, their believing that.

I asked the Principles, “This a significant challenge everywhere, so I am hoping you might allow me to share this in personal way with either your leadership team or staff generally.”
(I presented this document to the top 5 colleges in Adelaide and all said “overlooking a slow learner or a disconnected learner would never happen today – this is the Principles saying, “its not a problem any more”! This is me saying this is the beginning of self-depreciation – an opening for bulling – self bullying and external bullying.

There is plenty or press and awareness of the sexual predatory behaviour of people who have authority or sway and influence over young people but the subject I am canvassing here gets somewhat lost & can still be very devastating. Long term impact “I am not smart, I cannot learn”.

I attended an independent non catholic school from 1953 – 1963/4 leaving at 15 years of age, at the end of 2nd year to enter employment as I had managed to achieve probably the least impact of any student on the school and it on a student – me.

Reason for email – bullying and abuse come in all different sorts and sizes of packages. Mine was centred on the universal lack of care, across all classes after about grade 3, for anyone who fell in the middle to bottom of achievers.

I left school with a pronounced stammer and a self-esteem based on the proof given to me by teachers and the school system through time that I was either dumb, lazy or in some other way imperfect.

My self-doubt, lack of confidence maybe even self -loathing was further enforced by the PE teacher. His contribution to my esteem and fear of most sports for too long, he castigated me as a little ‘ poofter’ for falling to the ground crying at age about 7, for catching a cricket ball on the tip of my middle finger. I was not allowed to come to cricket again.

It took me only about six weeks on leaving school to actually make the discovery that I in fact had some value. I enrolled in night school, skipped a grade, went into the equivalent to matriculation and finished in the top five of the year! The organisation I joined was Woolworths. I became the youngest manager ever and to this day, to my knowledge there has been no other younger than I was. My stutter almost disappeared in that first 4 to 6 weeks. It still reoccurs slightly if I am tired or discussing something passionate – which are a lot of topics.

Bullying and abuse come in all sorts of packaging, these were how they came to me. My parents sent me and my brother to the same school, my sister to MLC. They didn’t know to come to the school and get better service for me, they just accepted that I wasn’t very bright. That didn’t do loads for their acceptance of me and me of me!

The teachers and lack of leadership at my school in my case were seriously flawed.

I find myself counselling friends and clients when the subjectof children progress (or even behaviour) at school comes up. Inevitably when they make clear to the school what they see, something changes. Too often it seems to get past the teachers, the system.

People live up to or down to expectations and that is self-fulfilling.

Why am I telling you this – there have been numerous stories about numerous schools re the sexual exploitation and bullying, but bullying is usually seen as physical or psychological between students, yes also parents and yes teachers and any mix of that you can consider.

I was bullied through inaction; through people responsible for my life’s learning, much more than RRR, life’s learning of my-self-worth, failed me. Good people caught up in their own exhaustion and subjective judgements. Yes, some who should never have been invited into teaching and others who should have been exited after appropriate mentoring had not been successful to find a pathway to me.

Bullying will be happening between staff, parents to staff, children to children, staff to children, academic and administrative / grounds. It will be happening and if you really believe it is not, then you will be missing a giant opportunity and, failing the children and others who are being caught up in it.
(That as a sentence from the original email to ‘my school’)

I wrote, “My comments are sincere and truthful. What you choose to do with them is up to you of course. As the leader you have a huge responsibility to help all the influencers at your school to find ways to connect, encourage, support and expect of every single child and within the staff of themselves. Huge responsibility, people lives. Maybe my story will help?” Not a single school took up my invitation.

“What you do with this now is the key. Yes, addressing the past BUT, very much looking at the here and now. Happy to come and chat.”

Every school Principle said, “children do not fall between the gaps anymore”. Similarly, the heads of Education and Health SA said there was no bullying in their departments with their HR managers present; their policies and procedures prevented that.

I was asked to come and ‘fix’ a bad behaving production manager (300 staff), survivor of 4 ownership changes, numerous GM’s and various MD’s. He was known for high staff turnover and ‘refusal to work’ with situations.

His comment to me was to remind me of his survival. Problem was management was scared to take strict action (which isn’t the answer anyway) in case the Union took action and the Union, well the Union just didn’t know what to do; he was causing them problems as well and they wondered why management hadn’t done anything! A very familiar case study.

They didn’t talk to each other. I brought them together, we put a unified, ‘we love you but you have to change’ scenario – a consequence that was able to be supported! On that day, after 35 years and some help with ‘what to do differently, what to say, how to act’, he changed.
My next task, some 3 months later was to help him manage the people who wanted him to mentor them! Same person, + leadership!

This is quite a read – it starts with the brief and personal statement relative to a situation 2 years old. Success is achieved, lasting now, over one year! Latest correspondence here 8th September 2018 – take the time to read it all, if easier, print of or at least copy into a word document to read.

It started when a client’s wife asked me if I could help her sister, who was experiencing devastating bullying over a 2 year period.

This intervention has occurred over 1 year now & has brought about positive change & substantiated personal growth has also been achieved.

Code to confidentiality !!!= the difficult person xxx = the receiver ### = the position

It takes you through the action and the results, together with touch-points

Unfortunately then there is a resignation But, happily an increase in self awareness and the foundation to not only repair this new situation but clarity of process that will travel with this individual through her life – but I will always be there if a steady hand is helpful.

We met for the first time starting with a 2 hour face to face consult with the individual (xxx), fleshing out the circumstances, talking about strategies, sharing stories, establishing trust. Then xxx went home and wrote back (homework) so I could see if she had picked up what we were talking about; whether I had been clear.

Homework – 13/5/17 – Xxx’s feedback to Rex after consult Clients comments in blue

Hi Rex, our chat yesterday was invaluable. It was lovely to meet you. Once I again I thank you immensely for taking some time to share your wisdom on my situation!

This is what xxx wrote to me – the situation beforeand afterthe consult and implementation

BEFORE
August 2017
For a period of 2 years, I had been working and reporting in a matrix structure whereby the higher positions were not filled with individuals experienced in managing the bullying behaviours that I was experiencing. 

 I had spoken to my line manager & HR on several occasions and nothing ever happened that made a positive difference. Reputation of bullying behaviours was well known for this particular individual, (!!!) and I was told to be resilient and not take the attacks personally. For this period I did not know what else to do and tried to be resilient getting on with my work.

My self-esteem suffered as I never felt I was carrying out my job satisfactorily and this impacted on my entire life. Various people had suggested ways of handling the situation, but nothing worked. I felt powerless and my bosses just seemed to move on, accepting that the behaviour I was experiencing was inevitable from this individual and not providing me with possible solutions.

AFTER THE CONSULT

I was referred to Rex and after a 2-hour consultation I was given a step-by-step strategy together with a discussion regarding probable conversations, and likely solutions.  After the appointment, I was asked to write an email to him including my understanding of the process, and how I envisaged I would handle the situation. This allowed for opportunity to clarify any miscommunications and ensure I had interpreted the information correctly. Following this, I felt very confident with the process and I was ready to take personal control. Up until this point however, I had felt entirely helpless, and had no idea what to actually do (and to be truthful, I didn’t believe things could really change!). I felt empowered. 

IMPLEMENTATION 

I put into practice the two strategies I had learned throughout my consultation with Rex. As a result of this, I noticed an immediate change in that persons’ behaviour towards me- change that has sustained now for three months. On a couple of occasions, I have seen a potential for the old behaviour to return, (which Rex warned me was probable) and I put in place his maintaining strategy and sustained the positive change.

I realised after this that my behaviours were as much of the problem as the person giving me grief (as much as I didn’t want to admit to this initially). I didn’t know what to do and people around me, peers and managers didn’t know either. Negativity and close mindedness became a routine pathway for communicating and thinking about my discontent with the situation. I had come to the belief that it wasn’t possible to make a change and that I would have to learn to be resilient to the behaviour or leave the job. I didn’t see how being resilient to bullying behaviour was in any way a good objective, nether leaving a job I love and am good at.

 I now feel it has made a positive impact on my workplace, in that it has demonstrated how effectively and positively conflict can be managed if done using the correct process. 

Having achieved a confidence level and supplied tried and true strategies, xxx put that into practice and achieved immediate positive results. I then set about keeping in contact in case any remedial work needed to be carried out.

Email  trail after the event

On 21 Nov 2017, at 12:29 pm, Rex Buckingham wrote:

Hi there!
Just checking in, how are things going with your friend at work?
cheers
Rex 0407827173

22.11.17 Email from XXX in response to me follow-up

Things have been going well- we have been working really well together. Has really been positive ever since! Finding work much more enjoyable now. 

 26.11.17 The response – I do find she is a lot more respectful /professional in her communication with others and in team discussions. I do notice however she continues to gossip (being quite critical of others in her conversations with close workmates). 

14.02.2018 Her feedback – Hi Rex, we have been getting along better than ever actually!  Very positive interactions recently 🙂 

Date 4 June – Rex’s email to xxx asking for an update / feedback

Hi there,

been sometime since we last caught up. Checking in to see how things are with your supervisor? Still going well? Any little difficulties? If there are little challenges, can you recall a bit about one, I might be able to help?

Date: 5 June 2018 at 8:21:34 pm ACST

To: Rex Buckingham

Hi Rex, 

Things have been going really well at work – no difficulties with !!!! which is great 🙂 

Cheers!

Date: 14 August 2018 at 7:08:20 pm ACST
To: xxx
Subject: Hi there

Yes, it is me again.
I am interested if your intervention is still working. And if you have any other challenges?
Cheers Rex

Date: 14 August 2018 at 8:44:23 pm ACST

Hi Rex, 

Thank you for checking in, I hope you’re well.

I have found my working relationship with !!!! has stayed the same (positive and respectful), no new ruptures (or repairs needed) ever since I made the change! Which is really great 🙂 

But I have found difficulties with other staff I have worked with (in the team ) and I felt I lacked confidence to transfer this learnt knowledge/ experience to these other staff members as I felt so intimidated by them, and unsupported in my role. It also felt more of a 2:1 ratio (rather than just one person). 

I ended up leaving the role recently predominantly due to these cultural issues within the team, I lost a lot of confidence and felt I couldn’t keep going. I was able to return to my fulltime community role. 

I still cross over with one of these ladies on my ‘community’ days, and I am a little worried I may still find myself in a similar situation…

cheers, 

On 14 Aug 2018, at 9:32 pm, Rex Buckingham wrote:

Why oh why didn’t you talk to me again? We need to catch up again so you can recapture your ownership of you. Over to you!

And then a phone conversation, where I asked xxx to write down her experience and then we would do a personal one to one catch-up.

Date: 19 August 2018 at 9:03:34 pm ACST

To: Rex Buckingham

Hi Rex,

As we chatted about, I have just written down a few thoughts- about some of the reasons I decided to leave the role and why I was having a hard time.

Work

• Poor transition to the role/ handover –thrown in the deep end! At the time- I put up my hand to ‘fill in’ /backfill a 5 week leave (then the clinician put in her notice -she had found another job- and I was it!).
• Lack of leadership (without a paediatric clinical lead for 18+ months- no successful recruitment).
• Isolated role- no other person of my qualification in the child team 
• Split role (different teams/different processes) i.e. some days community, some days at hospital
• Variety of ages- I found this challenging I recognised I had specific experience and still need more in some areas  

Team

• High gossip team culture – conflicted with my values, and contributed to a lack of confidence …’ ?wonder what they say about me……’  
• Service provision style – felt very much ‘in/out’ – with at times not enough care taken to put in place supports for vulnerable families. 
• Team at times- seemed highly critical, (regular reminders of what to say/not say/ what was missed). Minimal praise and encouragement of one another.
• Disrespectful communication (in sessions, out of sessions). I often felt in sessions where there were three of us (i.e. multi-disciplined) the two experienced clinician’s would not include me in decision making/analysis of the client (and discussions with the family) and their communication made me feel excluded/not ‘good enough’/my opinion not worthy/accurate, and not as good as those of your profession we have had in the past.  

Recently I think I started to see a few warning signs of burnout-and felt it was impacting home life too. At work- I also noticed poorer performance- and this is when I began to get worried. 

At this point, we had an in-profession staff meeting, and I requested some changes to my role would be helpful- (was not considering leaving at this point). 

But then as the year progressed, I realised the logistics of this was problematic. The more I thought about it (as a part week service), if there were to be someone in the role- with me, I would reduce to one day a week – and this did not seem practical for families. I feared reducing my days-would also reduce my knowledge/confidence even more. 

So- I started to weigh up the pro’s cons of staying/leaving 
At this point…  

(+ )

• Felt it was good to stay in position- for the experience (there are limited roles like this one- i.e. only some hositpals… etc). I was obtaining increased knowledge of how to work with infants, and how to work in the hospital model.
• Felt it would be good for my career progression
• Felt rather autonomous and could make my own decisions about the service sometimes

(-) But the flip side….

• Lack of support
• Started to lose confidence- feeling more and more inexperienced for position..
• High stress levels
• Wasn’t feeling valued /rewarded by the team for efforts
• Being told by the team who to see/how often/ in what way (by other disciplines other than my own)
• Regularly critiqued (or hearing gossip of others) for their clinical reasoning- led to more errors/ poorer performance and a lack of confidence.
• Complex children – l was the lacking support network to back my clinical reasoning

So. I suppose- I then came to the conclusion- I had filled in, given it a good go (I was up for the challenge) but the cons outweighed the pro’s.  

Since I have been based outside of this environment again, I have noticed my confidence coming back and feel much more supported within the team. 

What I don’t want to happen is to feel the way I did in my previous role… Any tips would be great! 

We met on 21^stAugust for 90 minutes because of this input –

She wrote back as she did a year ago after the first intervention and here is what she wrote

On 21 Aug 2018, at 10:28 pm, xxx wrote:

xxx Homework 

Hi Rex, thanks for the catch up. Great to listen to your helpful tips to get me onto the right track! 

From tomorrow….

 I will need to be careful not to be affected by the emotions of the words, but rather take the words as only words

I will need to be careful not to take comments/remarks personally, but rather treat comments as ‘habit language’ 

I will need to be careful not to interpret the environment/words/looks NEGATIVELY (but rather predict that this always happens- no longer a surprise to me)…. therefore no need to be caught off guard and defend!

I will need to be careful not to go into battle – but rather- ask, listen, ask listen. This is more respectful, and creates an even playing field. There is no right/wrong- I will need to work out the difference in opinion.

I will need to be careful not to use words like ‘no’, ‘that wont work’. As this closes the mind, and doesn’t help to come up with solutions. But rather- ask, listen, ask, listen.

I will need to be careful not to ‘allow the pond to be infected’- be on the front foot, call the bluff on other’s behaviour.

I will need to be careful not to shoot ‘down the ducks’.

INSTEAD ask, listen, ask, listen, don’t respond until the end (becomes more of a problem solving /conversation) rather than a battle (attach/defence- i.e. I’m right, you’re wrong).

I will need to be careful not to take things personally from people I don’t love and care about (more than my professional relationship with them).

I will need to be careful not to listen to people when they say that people/ environment/cultures don’t change. This is close minded- and my experience says this is not the case! 

Potential ‘triggers’ (Which I will now not take as a surprise!) 

-Discounting my clinical reasoning 

-Telling me who to see/when and in what way 

-Making me feel they have superiority over me (rather than of equal value) 

-Gossiping about other staff members (this conflicts with my values and I don’t want a part in it. I won’t feed their insecurities).  

-Cornering me into not being able to have an opinion ‘this is the way or the highway’, this is the way it has always been done, if you think differently (or different to other ##’s then you must be wrong). 

From tomorrow I will need to replace my habit language with the following sentences in order to re-capture ownership of me. 

Phrases such as  –ways to respond to negative language

I value and trust your opinion, after all ‘I’m not the speech pathologist’ so I would never question your opinion.

Gossip

Oh I haven’t shared that experience of XX but it sounds like you were frustrated by …..

‘Well that’s ok, I value your opinion, we may have seen different things in the sessions, after all, you’re a speech pathologist and I am an occupational therapist. I know I am able to make decisions that are applicable to my discipline. My clinical reasoning and gut feeling was they would/wouldn’t benefit from another session.

I’m interested in why you thought we both needed to discharge this client.. in my experience, it is often the case that families may need one service more than the other.

‘I can hear what you’re saying’ 

‘I’d really like your input on … because I value your experience in..

‘Can you tell me more about…..’ 

‘I’d appreciate you thoughts on…..

‘you’re so experienced in …… could I have your thoughts on how I could improve on ….’

‘lately I have been thinking I could get better at X, can I have your thoughts/opinion on ….’

‘I notice your really good at’  ‘can I have your help with X’ 

I’m interested in what you’re saying, what do you think? I am eager to hear your point of view.

I did this, and I thought XX… id love some feedback on ….. 

Lately I’ve been thinking I could improve on XXX, did you want to give me some feedback on. ..

What they might say (automatic, habit language) & how I can respond

I’m not an OT..    What I could say 

Well I know that- But you are still very experienced, and I value your knowledge (and I know you have worked with some great OT’s in the past).

You’re doing fine      What I could say 

I think there are always things we do well in a session, and always things we can improve on, I’d really like some feedback on if you have time….

Don’t you know that? Or you should know that ..    What I could say 

Oh I know I should know that, but I am always learning, I’d love your opinion on xx.

OR 

Maybe I should! But I would still appreciate your opinion/expertise. 

Thinking about how I see myself –MATRIX
 1 = low, 5 = high – establishing my gaps

patient behaviour analysis 4   

how to grade the activity to suit the patient 4 

On 22 Aug 2018, at 1:30 am, Rex Buckingham wrote:

Once again xxx you have picked up the essence of our conversation.

It will happen that your ‘habit’ feelings or response will surface quickly – that’s to be expected. The change now is that you have embedded into your thinking options to those feelings and comments! You are obviously ready to take control of yourself again.

Be in that situation where it’s as if you are looking down upon yourself as you steer your emotions and language in your new direction.

If some ‘old language’ pops out, it’s ok to say, “that’s not what I meant to say, let me start again”.

Look for a situation today where you can implement the renewed thinking. Drop me a note sometime this week with a couple of examples. That will be good for us both.

You are a star – you don’t need anyone else’s approval but you are not above getting there feedback / input.

Cheers and always best wishes,

Rex

On 23 Aug 2018, at 9:58 pm, xxx wrote:

Hi Rex, 

!!! left early on Wednesday but I was on the ready. I was more aware of my own body language as we communicated throughout the day. There was no incidences where I felt she communicated with me disrespectfully. We work together again on Monday, 

I did notice I didn’t get as offended (ie take personally) by other staff members comments today (as I previously might have)- an example when one was suggesting the patient didn’t need to come to ### (reporting they could handle ### needs in the speech session) and I thought they would be a priority patient for our service (point of difference) – I noticed myself using more collaborative language – not shooting her down but saying when and how we could talk it out more together at a later date and that I valued and trusted her opinion. Outlined what we both agreed on, 

!!!! and I worked particularly well together today – I will try out the feedback /matrix suggestion tomorrow, 

Thanks Rex, 

? Don’t put up with behaviours that make you feel down. Don’t allow the situation to continue. Believe that it can be better – tell any of your friends about the experience this young women had and how her life has changed. Every day you let yourself be bullied you are depreciating and probably your other relationships are as well. It’s is really as simple as a phone call – it can be confidential – have a chat and let’s see if we can add value to the value you are. Rex 0407827173 – no obligation.

This is a real story, one where the individual has taken ownership and with some strategies is now well in  control of their life. Still learning when different situations turn up but still very much knowing they can have that positive impact on their life – no longer being subjected to that feeling of overwhelming helplessness. 

We will catchup again in January 2019 – just like anything, a little servicing of the strategies, relationship building helps confidence and perspective of both parties. Keeping it real!

Feedback from the HR Director:- Rex has been working with our organisation in South Australia over recent times in developing the “clinic managers” from technicians to leaders / enablers.
The work that Rex has implemented has been beneficial to our business. He has enabled us to improve the management of our people. Most people would recognise that staff engagement and commercial performance are tightly linked. For our business to compete in a very tight market it’s important that every individual who comes to one of our Clinics enjoys doing so. Passion is a great motivator, Rex has given the staff the “Tools” to deal with many situations – be it with their peers or patients (clients).

We do acknowledge that we do have staff that are passionate about their work, however they needed to be given assistance to further develop their communication and management styles. Rex was crucial in this process. Rex delivered many workshops for management, clinical and non clinical staff. As a business we have enjoyed a marked success in clinic managers, understanding if they hold a responsible position that they receive appropriate training in interpersonal relationships, situational problem solving and handling difficult behaviours.

The training Rex provided delivered consistent quality, improved effectiveness and lower staff turn over / absenteeism. Rex not only delivers effective management tools but also lives by them. I have always found Rex to be approachable, open and genuinely interested in people. Regards, Margaret Doddridge Human Resources Manager General Manager Human Resources